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 Friday, Time for Fun...
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Posted on 12-15-06 12:26 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Sardar ji Jokes from other sites....
Enjoy:

_____________________________________________________________________
Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it.
 
Posted on 12-15-06 12:42 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Wa wa wee wa
It's Niceeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
www.cardbazar.com

 
Posted on 01-07-07 11:34 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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lol funny but i dun know y do we make fun of blonde gals n sardar :)
 
Posted on 01-08-07 1:18 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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ohnny Part II
>>Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the
>>night,
>>in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and
>>thumping, he
>>peeks in and catches his folks in The Act. Before dad can even
>>react,
>>Little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride on
>>your
>>back?" Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable
>>questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride,
>>agrees.
>>Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy
>>starts
>>moaning and gasping. Johnny cries out "Hang on tight, Daddy! This
>>is the
>>part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"
>>
 
Posted on 01-08-07 1:20 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Johnny Part III
>>A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed
>>by his
>>mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a
>>man, I
>>need a man!" Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this
>>several
>>times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning.
>>When he
>>peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny
>>ran
>into
>>his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started
>>stroking
>>himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"
 
Posted on 01-08-07 1:22 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Johnny Part IV
>>A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with
>>her
>>fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity
>>for
>>sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire
>>lecture. Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks
>>for
>>examples of sex education from the class. One little boy raises his
>>hand,
>>"I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs." "Very good, William,"
>>cooed the
>>teacher. "My mommy had a baby," said little Esther. "Oh, that's
>>nice,"
>>replied the teacher. Little Johnny raises his hand. With much fear
>>and
>>trepidation, the teacher calls on him. "I was watchin' TV
>>yesterday, and I
>>saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of
>>Indians.And they all attacked at one time. And he killed every one
>>of them
>>with his two guns." The teacher was relieved but puzzled, "And what
>>does
>>that have to do with sex education, Johnny?" "It'll teach those
>>Indians
>not
>>to fook with the Lone Ranger."
 
Posted on 01-08-07 1:24 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Johnny Part V
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question. "Johnny, if there were five birds
sitting
on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"
"None."
replied Johnny,"'cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer
is
four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking."
Little
Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three
women
eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second
biting
her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is
married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the
cone?"
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her
finger.
But
I like the way you are thinking."
 
Posted on 01-08-07 1:27 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Johnny Part VI
One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit. "Now
class, I'm
going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit, and you
tell
what fruit I'm talking about. Okay, first: it's round, plumb and
red." Of
course, Johnny raised his hand high, but the teacher, wisely
ignored him
and picked Deborah, who promptly answered "An apple." The teacher
replied,
"No Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking." Now for the
second.
It's soft, fuzzy, and colored red and brownish." Well, Johnny is
hopping
up
and down in his seat trying to get the teacher to call on him. But
she
skips him again and calls on Billy. "Is it a peach?" Billy asks.
"No,
Billy, I'm afraid it's a potato. But I like your thinking," the
teacher
replys. Here's another: it's long, yellow, and fairly hard." By now
Johnny
is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically. The teacher
skips
him
again and calls on Sally. "A banana," she says. "No," the teacher
replies,
"it's a squash, but I like your thinking." Johnny is kind of
irritated
now,
so he speaks up loudly. "Hey, I've got one for you teacher; let me
put my
hand in my pocket. Okay, I've got it: it's round, hard, and it got
a head
on it." "Johnny!" she cries. "That's disgusting!" "Nope," answers
Johnny,
"it's a quarter, but I like your thinking!
 
Posted on 01-08-07 1:32 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Johnny Part VII
In a classroom of third graders, the teacher says to the kids,
"Today,
class, we will be telling stories that have a moral to them." She
explained
what a moral to a story was and asked for volunteers. Little Suzie
raises
her hand.
Suzie: " I live on a farm and we have a chicken that laid 12 eggs,
we were
excited to have 12 more chickens but only 6 of them hatched."
Teacher:
"That's a good story, now what is the moral?" Suzie: " Don't count
your
chickens before they are hatched." Teacher: "Very good Suzie,
anyone
else?"
Ralphie: "Yes teacher, I was carrying some eggs I bought for my mom
in my
bicycle basket one day and I crashed my bike and all the eggs
broke."
Teacher: "That's a nice story, what is the moral?"
Ralphie: "Don't put all your eggs in one basket."
Teacher: " Very good Ralphie, anyone else?"
Little Johnny: " Yes teacher, my Aunt Karen is in the army and when
she
was
in the Gulf War, she parachuted down with only a gun, 20 bullets, a
knife,
and a six-pack of beer. On her way down, she drank the six pack.
When she
landed, she shot 20 Iraqis and killed ten of them with her knife."
Teacher: "Very interesting, Johnny, what is the moral to your
story?"
Little Johnny: "Don't fook with Aunt Karen when she's drunk."
 
Posted on 01-08-07 1:33 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Johnny Part VIII
A nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word
'definitely' in a sentence?"
First a little girl says, "The sky is definitely blue."
The teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can sometimes be gray,
or
black."
A second little boy says,"Trees are definitely green."
"Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."
Then little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks,
"Does a
fart have lumps?"
The teacher looks horrified and says, "Johnny! Of course not!!!"
"OK...then I DEFINITELY shitted my pants!"
 
Posted on 01-08-07 1:41 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Johnny Part IX
One day Johnny walked into the classroom, and the teacher said,
'Johnny,
do
you have your report done?' He replied, 'no ma'am.' She said, 'if
you
don't
have it done by tomorrow then I'm going to make a call to your
parents.'
As
Johnny is walking home from school he looks to his left and sees
two
greyhounds racing,and one gets so far ahead of the other one that
it just
stops and the other one rams its head right up its ass.
Johnny takes out a piece of paper and writes it all down, saying to
himself, 'This is going to be my report.'
The next day at school the teacher says, 'Johnny, do you have your
report
done?' He says, 'sure do.' So he goes up to the front of the class
and
starts telling them what he saw. 'Yesterday I was walking home from
school
when I saw these two greyhounds racing, and one rammed its head
right up
the other's ass.' The teacher says, 'Johnny, we don't use the word
'ass'
in
the classroom, it's rectum.' Johnny said, 'Rectum? Hell, it damn
near
killed 'em.'
 
Posted on 01-08-07 1:53 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Jonny X

Little Johnny's Letter to Santa
Dear Santa,
You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the 26th of
December.
Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have
occurred
since the beginning of the month! While filled with illusion I
wrote you a
letter and I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of
rollerblades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying
the
whole year! Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the
best
grades
in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you, Santa, there was
no one
in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me. With my
parents, my
brothers, my friends and with my neighbors, I would go on errands
and even
help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing I
wouldn't
do for humanity! WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A FOOKING YO-YO, A
STUPID
ASS WHISTLE, AND A PAIR OF SOCKS! WHAT THE FOOK WERE YOU THINKING,
YOU FAT
SON OF A BITCH? YOU'VE TAKEN ME FOR A SUCKER THE WHOLE FOOKING
YEAR, TO
COME OUT WITH SOME SHIT LIKE THIS UNDER THE DAMN TREE. AS IF YOU
HADN'T
FOOKED ME ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE SHITHEAD ACROSS THE STREET
SO MANY
FOOKING TOYS, THAT HE CAN'T EVEN WALK INTO HIS DAMN HOUSE! PLEASE
DON'T
LET
ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT YOUR BIG FAT ASS DOWN MY CHIMNEY NEXT
YEAR! I'LL
FOOK YOU UP! I'LL THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID ASS REINDEERS OF
YOURS, AND SCARE THEM THE FOOK AWAY, SO YOU'LL HAVE TO WALK YOUR
BIG FAT
ASS BACK TO THE NORTHPOLE, JUST LIKE I HAVE TO DO SINCE YOU DIDN'T
GET ME
THAT FOOKING BIKE, YOU PUNK BITCH!! YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA, FOK YOU!!
NEXT
YEAR YOU'LL FIND OUT HOW BAD I CAN REALLY FOKING BE...YOU'VE BEEN
SLEEPING
ON A MOTHERFOKER FAR TOO LONG! SO WATCH YOUR BACK NEXT YEAR, YOU
FAT
BITCH!
Sincerely, Johnny
 
Posted on 01-08-07 1:58 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Jonny XI

Don't Pee in the Pool
Little Johnny is approached by the lifeguard at the public swimming
pool.
"You're not allowed to pee in the pool," said the lifeguard. "I'm
going to
report you." "But everyone pees in the pool," said Little Johnny.
"Maybe,"
said the lifeguard, "but not from the diving board!"
 
Posted on 01-08-07 2:01 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Jonny XII

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can
little girls have babies?" "No," said his Mom, "of course not." Little Johnny then ran back
outside and his Mom heard him yell to his
friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"
 
Posted on 01-08-07 2:05 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Johnny XIII

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.""Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.
"Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on little Johnny."Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, foking beautiful!'"
 
Posted on 01-08-07 2:21 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 01-08-07 12:50 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Johnny XV

”Jesus Is In The Bathroom”

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a
response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long Seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. And Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!"
 


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